Running To You Read online

  “Until I am discharged. I don’t want to see anyone else and that includes Dr. Brooks!” Grayson Brooks was about to get a good dish of my stubborn side. If he was going to keep secrets from me, then fine. I just won’t see him! What did his family have to do with my organization? Suddenly, I felt used and I couldn’t imagine why or how this happened.

  As the nurse left, I could hear her explaining that visitors were no longer allowed and that they needed to leave. After a few moments, the nurse returned with Drew and Cooper in tow. I could not see or hear Grayson, which was just fine with me. What secrets is he keeping? What does his brother have to do with PMC? I feel like I have been seriously played and I don’t know why. The thoughts just make me even angrier!

  “Alex, I filled Cooper in on the events. Can I get you anything, do you hurt anywhere, and do you need something for pain?” I could tell he was all tied up in knots. But all I wanted to do was beg for mercy. I had let him down. What a way to start my career, blowing my first big project planning meeting for a beta site.

  “Drew, I am really okay, but I am mortified at the events of the evening. I am so very sorry, how can I make this up to you? It sounds as though I am lucky my injury is slight, but it will be hard to keep me down. I will be back at it just as soon as I break out of this jail tomorrow. Please pull up chairs for you both and start filling me in on the particulars of whom, what and where? It seems that I can’t get a straight answer out of Grayson. And Drew, you can start by telling me what Grayson’s brother’s name is and what the hell does he have to do with PMC?” By now, I am sobbing hysterically.

  Cooper reaches for my hand. “Al, you have to calm down. The nurse said we could only stay if your blood pressure stayed down. You are at a high risk for a stroke. Anxiety will just make your risks worse. So please, please take some deep breaths and calm down. Otherwise, they will sedate you and kick us out of here.” Cooper gets up in the bed with me and is holding me tight, comforting me to control my sobbing.

  Drew takes the opportunity to fill in the blanks for me. “Alex, his name is Harrison, Harrison Brooks. I don’t know all of the details, so forgive me if this gets patchy. I have made some calls and will know more by tomorrow, I am sure of it. Phillip is staying mum. So he either doesn’t know everything or he's afraid to anger the venture capital guys in with Harrison. Their group is currently providing funding for us to continue our daily operations until we are sustainable on our own again. Harrison is an attorney, who made some great dotcom choices years ago and is now quiet wealthy. He is from, and continues to live in Chicago, he attended Northwestern, Alex, and he lived across from the Coffee House where you worked.” Pausing for a moment, then as if he remembered more,

  “Harrison and Doc are identical twins. Grayson chose the Army route like his Father. Harrison took the scholarship route. He and Grayson used to be really close like most twins, now they don’t have a relationship at all. I just can’t seem to find out why. Back when Harrison was part of PMC, Grayson must have known that, which would explain why he refused to see myself or Phillip or talk to anyone about our products. He was always such a mystery. Phillip kept close tabs on Grayson and insisted that you continue to work on him. I think partly because Harrison is on the board again and also funding the company to some extent right now. I realize how this all looks at the moment Alex and you feel like you have been played, but I can assure you, I had no idea. Alex, I am so sorry. I didn’t know all of this until tonight, after your accident, or I would have never put you in the middle of this, I mean that!”

  I needed time to process all of this. I just wanted to be alone. I began to shudder. I think that the guys could tell I needed to be alone as well. “Al, as soon as they give us the word on the CAT Scan of your hard head, I am taking Drew to the hotel. I will bring your things when I come back. Here is your iPhone and charger. Just so you know, Doc is texting you about every three minutes! You really do need to see him and clear the air, or send him packing, but don’t leave him hanging.”

  “I just feel blindsided right now guys, that’s all. I know I have feelings for him. But I can’t deal with him right now and my head is fuzzy. I can't think straight and I am angry that I am a victim to his surprises, unless he didn’t know that Harrison was in town or part of PMC again. After some rest tonight, I want more details tomorrow!”

  The guys left and I was alone with my thoughts, but the meds took over and I had drifted off to sleep for what seemed like hours. When I woke up, my head was throbbing. Right in front of me were beautiful flowers all arranged with roses in various fall colors of orange, cream, tangerine, lilies and my favorite little chartreuse button mums. The card simply read: “Please give me a call on my cell. If I hear it ring, I answer it.”

  Ah so sweet. That is what I said to him when I left his office the first time and he turned me down for using our products. What should I do? I can’t leave him hanging. Picking up the phone, “Grayson, the flowers are beautiful, and they brighten my room. Thank you for getting them.”

  “Alexandra, I need to see you.” His voice was almost a whisper, “can I see you?”

  “Yes, I will see you,” but before I can finish saying that I would see him in the morning, he was walking through the door. Had he been waiting outside the door this whole time? I begin to shudder and shake a bit, from nerves or possibly medication. Grayson rushed to me. Holding me while trying to discern if I was starting a panic attack or just upset, I am not sure. He was taking deep breaths in my neck and in my hair, drinking me in. He felt so good wrapped around me, cradling me so gently, caressing me, but holding me tightly enough that he made me realize I needed him to touch me, to hold me.

  “Grayson, were you outside my door this whole time?”

  “Alexandra, I told you I wasn’t leaving. You can’t run me off that easy, although the nursing team has threatened violence against me.” Chuckling, he was trying to lighten the mood a bit. He pulled back slightly, running his finger along the edge of my cheek, down my jaw and over my lips. Surprising me, he leaned in and gave me a long, soft, sweet kiss, just lingering his lips barely on mine for the longest time, just his lips, my lips, and this chemistry of our breaths flowing through both of us. I could feel the heat of his breath on mine and hear the beat of his heart, racing with me.

  “Alexandra, we have lots to talk about, but you have to rest. Your blood pressure is spiking which is very, very serious. So, I will sleep in the chair outside, I refuse to leave you alone and I will be here for you. Tomorrow, when you are better, I will tell you everything, I promise you! Just sleep now, angel, just close your eyes and sleep.”

  I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and I tried to fight the sleep, but I couldn’t. I awoke after what seemed like hours to a commotion in my room. The Neurology team was here to take me for the repeat CAT scan, but my blood pressure was still too high. There were so many people in my room barking orders at each other. Grayson, where’s Grayson? I need him here. Cooper is standing in the corner and looks scared to death. I want to yell help me, help me, somebody please help me, but I can’t get my words to come out. I am so frightened.

  “Gr...ay...son, I wannttt Grayson,” stuttering! Oh no, it’s not stuttering, am I having a stroke?

  “Ms. Morrison, please calm down, Dr. Brooks is on his way. He just went over to his office to get some charts, and he will be right back.” I could hear the nurse talking to me, then to someone else. “PAGE DR. BROOKS STAT!”

  “Alex, you have to take some deep breaths and relax, you have to.” Cooper looked panicked, scared beyond belief.

  Dr. Kirk abruptly spoke to Cooper, “Do you know any of her medical history? We need some answers quickly.”

  “I have been her friend for most of her life, ask me and I will give it my best try.”

  “Mr. Roberts, do you know if she or anyone in her family has suffered a stroke?”

  “Yes, her father, Alexander Morrison, when he was a young man.” Cooper was beginning to put two and two toget
her; they think I am having a stroke. Oh, no.

  “Nurse Middleton, alert the surgery team on call. Here’s the order for STAT medications and let Radiology know we are on our way. If Dr. Brooks calls, ask him to meet us in CAT scan...if she’s suffering a stroke, we have to move fast. Somebody please get me the number for next of kin from this young man.”

  I could see lights flashing above me and once again, I was on a moving bed, but I couldn’t get my words out. There were so many people buzzing around me in the distance, and lots of machines making noise. Suddenly, I can hear Grayson.

  Leaning his face in so that I could see him, “I’m here Alexandra, I’m right here. I just went to my office to get some music for you.” Turning away to speak to someone in the room, “will you please put this on the playlist titled Red? It’s her favorites and let’s get some quiet in here. Dim the lights please.”

  “Alexandra, you can do this sweetheart. I’m here, not leaving, not going anywhere.” He was worried. His eyes showed me fear. He couldn’t hide it in his facial expression.

  I dozed off and when I awoke, I was in my room again and it was really calm and quiet, with just music playing. I could see Cooper in chair in the corner looking like he was praying and there was Grayson, sitting in a chair by my feet, propped on the edge of the bed reading on his iPad. It was morning; just not sure of how many days had passed.

  Trying to find my words and scared beyond belief that I might not be able to talk, I spoke in a whisper “Good morning Grayson.” Oh, thank you Lord, my words were not stuttered or slurred, I spoke normal. Grayson jumped to his feet and leaned down to check me over like I was his patient. Then he leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss on the corner of my lips, before he sat on the edge of the bed where I could see him.

  “Hey you!” Taking my hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. "You gave us quite a scare last night. We thought we were losing you for sure.”

  “Grayson, what happened? Did I, did I have a stroke?” I couldn’t find my voice, but tears flooded my eyes, fear, and emotion coming over me.

  For what seemed like hours, Grayson couldn’t answer me, probably for fear that I would freak out and make matters worse.

  “Shh, angel, please stay calm. Yes, you did have a slight stroke, but they were able to give you meds to dissolve it quickly. We won’t know if there were any side effects until you are able to move about, but your speech sounds excellent. A 100% improved over last night.” I could tell he was fighting back tears. He kept blinking his eyes and finally wiped at the corner when he turned away. I don’t want his pity tears; I don’t want any part of his pity party.

  “Please leave. Please leave me alone Grayson, I need some time to myself,” trying to muffle my sobs. I looked away so he couldn’t see.

  “Alexandra, I am not leaving. I don’t want to argue with you this morning, but let’s get something straight,” as if he was reading my mind. “I don’t pity you; this is not "feel bad for Alexandra day"! I am not walking out. I am not the one running away. So, get over yourself.” His tone was sharp, but his hands were soft and tender on my skin.

  He was doing squeeze tests on my hands and checking my range of motion with my arms, all good with my left arm, just not my right.

  “There is something else you should know, Alexandra. Your dad and Gretchen will be here shortly. We had to call them because of next-of-kin rules. I spoke with your dad last night on the phone. I just want you to know, so that we can work through this calmly and keep your pressure down.” His voice seemed shaky, like he was scared to tell me about my dad and step-mom, uncertain of how I would react.

  Trying to muster some confidence, “Cooper, please go home and get some rest. I need you to be ready to take on my parents. Can you make hotel arrangements for them?” I didn’t want them staying at the hospital or in our apartment.

  “Al, stop fussing with it. I have it under control. They brought the corporate jet and got here a few hours ago. We have them all lined out. You will see them in a little bit. They have already been here to see you, but you were asleep and your dad didn’t want us to disturb you. We have been in contact with him every 30-45 minutes or so all night,” Cooper said very sweetly, trying to reassure me that everything is under control.

  “Dr. Kirk is coming shortly and we will get you up and test out your legs. Alexandra, just remember that these things take time. So be patient and don’t push your body beyond what you have already been through,” Grayson’s voice soft and gentle, almost a whisper. His eyes were peering deep into mine, like he was grabbing at part of my soul.

  “Grayson, I thought I was clear about what I said, I want you to leave. I don’t find a reason for you to be here. Please leave.” I hide my face in my hands. I don’t want him to see the pain I feel written in my expressions. When I look back up, he gives me a bewildered look, as if I had kicked the breath from him, his face so puzzled at my words. I know he wants to be here to take care of me, but that is just the point. I don’t want anyone feeling like they need to take care of me. He leaned in and placed a sweet, soft kiss on my cheek. He took a moment to rub my hand and left without saying another word. But when he turned to look at me, his eyes were red and misty; his face was full of sadness. I instantly knew I had hurt him.

  “Alex, I know exactly what you are doing. You are scared that your legs aren’t going to work, you don’t want him to see it, and you don’t want his guilt. It’s so obvious that he is crazy about you. He hasn’t left this hospital since you fell. If you have feelings for him, and I am convinced that you do, you have to let him enter the inner circle of your heart where no man has gone. What the hell do you think you’re doing sending him away?”

  “Coop, I am angry that he is keeping deep secrets from me. Why didn’t he trust me to be honest from the beginning? This has affected my career and caused me to hurt myself. Furthermore, I believe, whether you do or not, that he is, reacting out of guilt! This is my life and I will live it as I see fit!”

  I was just staring out the window, remembering my days at Northwestern, life seemed much simpler then. Between studying and working at the coffee house. How I longed to go back to Chicago, wishing I had never met Grayson Brooks!

  Dr. Kirk and his team came in to do a full evaluation of the damage from the stroke. “Alexandra, your stroke was mild, compared to what it could have been and we were able to treat it with medicine to dissolve it. You have slight weakness in your right arm and moderate weakness in your right leg and foot, which should be temporary. Once the clot from the stroke is completely dissolved and the extra swelling relieved, you will be back to normal. I know this is not the news that you wanted to hear, but it is temporary, I promise.”

  My body couldn’t hold back and finally gave way to my tears; I was shuddering from my head to my toes...weakness, am that the new chic name for someone who won’t be able to walk, and needs a wheelchair?

  Cooper was leaning over the bed holding me as I cried into his shoulder hysterically. He began to cry too, unable to hold back the fear we both held in.

  “Alexandra, again I must point out that this is much milder than it could’ve been, and I truly believe it will be temporary. But how far you go out from this will be dependent on you and how far you reach in physical therapy. Unfortunately, we have to wait a few more days to start you in therapy, but I suspect that you will be dancing before the holidays. I will give you a moment to gather your thoughts and answer any questions.” Dr. Kirk was writing orders in my chart and when he and his team moved to leave the room.

  Daddy...

  “Oh dad, I am so glad you’re here. I don’t know how to make these decisions and I need help.” I reached out welcoming daddy’s embrace. It felt good to be held in his arms. I missed this. I am certain dad wasn’t expecting that greeting from me, since making decisions is something I have been doing for myself since mom passed away. But I knew that Coop would help keep dad reeled in, although he couldn’t be my constant caregiver. He had a life of his own, just sta
rting over, and to think, he came here for me.

  Dad was holding me so close and rubbing my back, “Alexandra, I am here for whatever you need and will line up the best team for you. Gretchen and I want to do whatever you wish, if that means getting a place to be here close to you or hiring you a team if you prefer. Whatever you decide to do, we will do it. Your recovery requires you to be in the driver’s seat, okay with you?”

  It was difficult to see my dad as the caretaker. I was not used to that, since he hired private nurses to take care of my mom at home. He was not the nurturing type. By nature, he has always been the business mogul, not the touchy, feely type. But holding me here, his touch is tender and his concern is forthcoming. To keep from pushing him away, I consider his feelings and want him to help. “I think I will stay here in Dallas and do my physical therapy here. If you can assist in getting me a private nurse to stay and help me, so that Cooper is not tied down, Dad?”

  “Alex, I can,” Cooper was about to unselfishly offer to be my caregiver.

  “No, Coop, you can’t and I won’t let you. Don’t argue or I will go back to Chicago with my parents.”

  I spent the next few days in the hospital taking meds, having more tests and getting used to needing assistance to move about. This was not a lifestyle I wanted, so I knew that I had to work on getting my life back to normal. Dad and Gretchen stayed for a couple of days, busying themselves to make our apartment wheelchair friendly, hiring a nursing team and arranging for wheelchair accessible transportation. Dad and I have never been close, so to see this, tender, caring side is unlike how I know him to behave, and it makes me very emotional. In fact, my emotions are all over the place. Could it be that I was feeling guilty over how I handled Grayson and part of me was missing him terribly? How could I miss someone who couldn’t let me know who they were or how their family was connected to my employer? Did I get this position because of the Brooks “boys”? I needed answers and thinking about everything was just too painful, it was tormenting.