The Running Series Box Set: Books 1-3 Page 20

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Our wonderful Saturday evening was getting late. Grayson took my hand and kissed my knuckles, as he twirled me around to the music. We danced some more, but spent most of our evening just relishing each other, enjoying being a couple, happy in our moment.

  It was a beautiful, quiet time together, listening to the music, talking, throwing out baby names—some of them beautiful, like Miranda, and some of them not evenly remotely serious, like Ferguson—and dreaming about our future together. I yawned once, and Grayson took that as his cue to pay the tab and head us home.

  Back at my apartment, he dropped down and scooped me up, then carried me to the bedroom. I snuggled my forehead into his neck, enjoying the coziness.

  Grayson stood me up as he sat down on the side of the bed. There were tears in his eyes. “I am the happiest I have ever been in my life, Alexandra. You are my own personal angel.”

  “Actually, you’re mine. I’m just sad it took me so long to figure it out.”

  We undressed and got into bed, and Grayson held me until I fell asleep, keeping one hand spread tight across my stomach, protecting our baby already.

  I woke up to the sunshine coming into the room, but Grayson wasn’t in bed with me. I threw on my robe and walked into the kitchen to find Grayson and Cooper deep into different sections of the newspaper. I went to make some coffee, when Grayson pushed some juice in front of me.

  “Juice! Doctor’s orders, not mine. Well, not ‘me’ the doctor, your doctor. Read your packet, my dear.”

  “I don’t need to; you’ve already read it for me. Am I right?” I asked, laughing at Dr. Know-It-All as I ruffled his already combed hair.

  “As a matter of fact, Ms. Morrison, I have read it and I can recite the entire thou shalt nots verbatim. Go ahead. Quiz me. Ask me anything,” he shot back with a smile.

  I bet this guy had been a lot of fun in medical school study groups.

  “Hey, Coop. Are you just gonna sit there and let him get away with bossing me around?”

  Cooper was obviously enjoying the fact that someone was trying to outdo my stubborn streak and threw up his hands in retreat. “Thank God, Grayson is around. That lets me off duty. You’re his project now!”

  The guys enjoyed the humor at my expense, while I flicked a dish towel at both of them.

  “Oh, you two teaming up on me is no fun. When my daughter is born, we will be even numbered again!”

  Gingerly patting my tummy and leaning in for a kiss while he was at it, Grayson reminded me, “Our daughter, Alexandra. And keep in mind that it might be a son. You would be beyond outnumbered then!”

  I went to my closet and grabbed some running clothes, desperately needing some fresh air. The mornings were cooler now in Dallas, so some kind of activity would do me good.

  Grayson joined me in the bedroom as I was dressing. “Where do you think you’re going, sweetie?”

  “I thought I’d go out for some fresh air, care to join me?”

  “I guess I have time, but only for a walk. You have to take it easy for a few days. In fact, I need to talk to your trainers and let them know about the pregnancy and the spotting. They’ll need to adjust your exercise regimen.”

  “Grayson, I heard the ER doctor,” I half-whined in my desperation to do something that involved sunshine and a tiny bit of sweating. “I’ll take it easy, nothing strenuous, I promise.”

  We headed out for our walk, and I had to laugh to myself about how attentive Grayson had become to my needs. It was great he’d learned his lesson about what happened when he tried to keep me in the dark, but he’d gone overboard in the other direction, to the point of being bossy. With my recent history and the fact I carried his unborn child nestled safely inside me, I supposed I would have to get used to that.

  As we strolled, he was the one to break the silence. “You’re never this quiet. Whatcha thinking about?”

  “Oh, just thinking how much I’m enjoying all your attention. Don’t get me wrong, no complaints here.” I tried to keep the mood light.

  “I can’t help it; it’s hard to turn the physician mode off sometimes. I’m sorry if I’m a little stern. It’s just that you are extremely thin right now. I don’t know if it is because of the therapy or the pregnancy, but I’m worried. Apparently, Dr. Creek is as well. Then, when you throw in the stress I’ve put you under, well…I’m so sorry!”

  I could see the pain in his eyes, and he wasn’t smiling.

  “Grayson, I know you’re used to taking charge of things, especially of other people’s health, and I know it’s going to be hard for both of us the next few weeks. But I promise I’ll take it easy on the training, and I’ll eat more. The morning and night sickness isn’t helping right now, but the chef keeps my refrigerator stocked. He’ll even prepare meals for me, so I promise to keep him occupied.”

  “The chef is there even while your dad is away?” He was just figuring out I wasn’t at my dad’s, and I didn’t know why I’d thought he already knew.

  “No, the chef at the Millennium. I moved to the Millennium while my dad’s out of town. He didn’t want me to be alone. I thought Cooper would’ve told you, since he tells you everything.” By now, I could see the gasket was ready to pop off.

  Grayson stopped me in my tracks and pulled us off the sidewalk as people buzzed by.

  “What the hell are you doing at the Millennium? Let me guess…Harrison? Are you living with Harrison?” He was so mad I swore I could see the steam coming from his ears. His eyes dug into mine like a sharp knife, and I saw his pulse racing in his neck. He was gripping my arms so tight that he bruised me, sending fingers of sharp pain racing up and down my tiny forearms.

  Trying to hold back the tears that filled the corners of my eyes, I muttered quietly, “Grayson, you’re hurting me…” and just like that he released me.

  He plowed his hands through his hair in exasperation. “Fill in the blanks then. Don’t leave anything out. And please explain why you didn’t feel the need to mention this before?” He was yelling at me with so much anger in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Grayson. I didn’t realize you didn’t know. I was out running a few of weeks ago, and I managed to get lost again. Harrison found me. We hung out a couple of times, and we discussed me moving into Harrison’s corporate apartment for safety and convenience. Dad’s experiencing some takeover threats and preferred the extra security while he was gone for a month. It’s closer to my old coffee shop, I have access to the pool and the trainers, and there’s a chef. He also loaned me a company car, so I could get around. It was only until Dad came back in town. So no, I’m not living with or sleeping with Harrison! You have been my only experience since…” I couldn’t finish. I was angry, frustrated that this conversation was even happening, so I turned and took off running back home.

  Grayson ran behind me and called my name to stop, but I didn’t stop. I felt like running, to be alone. All the drama just kept piling up. I couldn’t do this anymore.

  Suddenly, sharp pains stabbed into my side, aching so badly I had to stop and double over. The cramps gripped the muscles across my pelvis while I clutched at my side, gasping for breath.

  I bent over on the sidewalk as Grayson caught up to me. “Alexandra, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  I couldn’t answer him. I was angry, hurting, and only wanted to be alone.

  “Alexandra, answer me. What is it? Where do you hurt?” he pressed.

  “Sharp pains and cramping in my side, right here.” I pointed to my lower right side.

  Grayson picked me up in his arms and carried me the rest of the way. At home, he placed me on the bed and told me to stay there.

  “You’re going to bed, and you aren’t going to Chicago today, period, end of story. You’ll stay in bed for a few days until you are out of the woods, understand? Unless you’re determined to lose our baby and hemorrhage to death on purpose, that is.” He was so mad at me.

  I couldn’t tell if this was about Harrison or abo
ut the pregnancy at this point. His emotions were so strong.

  After I napped for a couple of hours, I felt better. I found Grayson watching TV. I sat in his lap and kissed him. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m not trying to hurt myself or the baby. I love you, and I’ll listen from now on. I need to get a shower. Join me?” I kissed him again, but he was still angry and distant.

  Grayson followed me into the bathroom silently, turned the water on for the shower, undressed us both, and helped me into the shower. He simply watched me, his facial expression cold.

  As I stood there with the warm water running, my emotions overwhelmed me, and I started sobbing uncontrollably, but Grayson just stood and watched me without speaking a word.

  I showered and dressed in a T-shirt and yoga pants. I headed to the kitchen for something to drink, when Grayson pulled me into his arms as I walked past.

  He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “Where are you going?” he asked, in a quiet whisper.

  “To get some juice.” I turned and made eye contact with him. I could see he was hurt, still sulking.

  “Are the cramps any better?” His tone was bittersweet.

  “Yes, they stopped. I’m a little shaky, but that happens sometimes after my training session. Please let go of me. I’m fine!” I pulled away from him and went to the kitchen.

  I picked up the phone and sent Drew a text to let him know I was not well and would be taking it easy for a few days. I sent Harrison a text and let him know I wouldn’t be back until Wednesday, and we could catch up then. Finally, I sent Dad a text and let him know I was staying on until Wednesday.

  When I turned to look in the fridge, Grayson was dressed and carrying his things.

  “Where are you going?” I demanded, sending him a surprised look of disbelief.

  “Alexandra, you can’t keep running away from me. You either want to be with me or you don’t. There is no middle ground here. Do you want me to go back to my place to give you time to yourself?” While lecturing me on the proper etiquette for dealing with an emotionally distant, secretive man who constantly felt the need to be bossy, he placed his bag on the floor and put both hands on his hips.

  “Do what you want. I have no argument left in me…” I made it to my bed before the tears started.

  Cooper watched our soap opera from the sofa, taking it all in. I heard him talking to Grayson. “Look, she’s practically been on her own since she was twelve years old, making all of her own decisions. It’s given her a heck of a stubborn streak a mile long. I don’t have any advice for you on how to channel it, but I can tell you without a doubt, she loves you, and she wants this baby.”

  “Cooper, if I could bottle up some of that stubborn-assed attitude of hers, we’d all die rich. God help us, if our child has half that stubborn spirit, we’re in trouble. I don’t know what to do, but I know she is not out of the woods for a miscarriage. She has to take it easy for a few more days. She won’t listen to her doctor. She won’t follow the instructions, so what else am I supposed to do to make her take care of herself? God, I love her so much it hurts.”

  “Then don’t leave,” Cooper insisted. “Let her face the issues with you, but don’t run away. That’s her job.”

  I didn’t hear anything for a while, just quiet. I must have dozed off again. When I woke up later, I could hear “Soulmate” by Natasha Bedingfield soft playing.

  How true. I did believe Grayson was my soul mate. And I needed to tell him that.

  Cooper was right, I was stubborn. I’d raised myself, and I didn’t know how to have a close relationship. But if I ever hoped to have a long and happy life with a family, it was going to be with Grayson and only after I could say how sorry I was.

  I didn’t see him in the apartment, but his things were still here. That had to be a good sign, right? I checked the other rooms, afraid to breathe. I finally glimpsed his shoulder out on the patio.

  He was sitting outside with a beer, talking on the phone. When I opened the door, he ended his call and smiled at me. “Zoe says hello.”

  “Did you fill her in on everything?” I tried to smile, but it felt forced. I went over and sat down next to him. “I’m so sorry, Grayson. My emotions are all over the place, and the pregnancy hormones are making my actions even worse! I will stay here in bed and eat well. I sent a text to Drew earlier, letting him know I wasn’t going back until Wednesday. I love you so much, but I can’t understand why I try to push you away.”

  Grayson looked at the half empty beer bottle he held loosely between his hands. I couldn’t breathe while waiting for him to finally say something, anything at all. “You push me away because it’s easier than being afraid all the time that I’m leaving. But I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. You have to trust that. I’m not sure what it will take to convince you, other than time. We love each other, and that’s the only thing that matters. Once you move back, everything will fall into place. You’ll see.”

  He held one hand out to me, which I held onto longingly like it was a lifeline to safety. He pulled gently until I stood and crawled into his lap where he held me close. “I was talking to Zoe, but I didn’t tell her anything about the baby. I thought I would let you do that, or we could both do that, publicly, whenever we’re ready. I’m just as tired of the drama as you are. And as for Harrison, please stay away from him. That’s me asking you, not ordering you. But I know him, and his intentions have an evil undertone. That’s all I’m going to say for now. Next weekend, I’ll take care of him.”

  “How can you feel such hatred for Harrison? He’s your brother,” I questioned softly, not wanting to start a firestorm now that Grayson and I were finally communicating, but desperately needing to understand what could cause two people who should have been closer than anyone in the world to be nearly enemies. I thought twins were supposed to be inseparable, but I was an only child, so I might have had a lot to learn.

  “When I met Olivia, she was like a breath of fresh air. She reminded me of all the things I missed about civilian life—family, fun nights out with other couples, parties and events, dancing. She said she wanted to start a family and would give me what I had been missing, being away in the military. Olivia was…experienced…and we had a very seductive sex life, very much on the dark side. It didn’t take long to learn that Harrison had been deep into BDSM.”

  “You don’t mean, like, bondage and stuff?” I asked, shocked at learning about that side of Harrison. I mean, it was Harrison, the beer buddy who screamed at the ref at football games.

  “To some extent, yes,” Grayson said with a severe tone, “only most people can enjoy some consensual activity and manage to keep it healthy or to bring a new fire to their relationships. What I learned about Harrison horrified me.” He finished the last of his beer in one swallow before continuing.

  “He had sexually and physically tortured Olivia repeatedly as part of that whole dominant/submissive lifestyle. From that moment on, I could never look at him the same way. Because of that, she couldn’t get enough sexually because she kept trying to replace the experiences she’d had with Harrison with ones that weren’t so twisted. I figured out that she will never be satisfied, that she was going to keep trying to find something or someone to recreate the good moments. Ultimately, that’s what caused the end of our relationship.

  “It’s hard to realize you’re living a lie until it all unfolds in such a painful way. That was my old life, and I never want to go back to it. Seeing him at your door in Chicago was almost enough to make me hurt him. All I could think about was protecting you from him, but you had made your decision and sent me away. I spent the next week in fear, not just that he would hurt you because you didn’t know him the way I do, but also that I would have to kill him once he did.”

  I waited to speak. I wanted so badly to reassure Grayson, to let him know his brother must have changed, but that wasn’t my place. I’d known Harrison for a couple of weeks, nothing more. “I didn’t see that side o
f Harrison. We went to the game and grabbed some dinner, nothing more. We both made it clear we didn’t want anything more than that from the other. I think you need to have a real talk with him, but there will be time for that. Maybe time is what you two need most.”

  I reached up and ran my finger down his cheek and across his bottom lip. “Well, you’ll be glad to know I can say with one hundred percent certainty…I’m hungry. Want me to order a pizza? I could use one of those beers, too, but I bet my packet says I can’t have one, doesn’t it?” I wanted so much to get some lighter conversation going.

  “Gosh, I don’t know. I mean it’s not like I’m a doctor. Let’s go see what it says.” He didn’t have a career in acting ahead of him, since he was lousy at playing dumb.

  “Why, Dr. Know-It-All, I thought you had it memorized. And you call yourself a medical professional,” I said with a pretend sneer. I was so happy our jovial spirit was coming back.

  I bedded down on the sofa as Grayson ordered the pizza and made a salad. He fixed me a tall glass of lemonade and came to lay with me. “Hey, Zoe reminded me I have a medical conference in Austria in a few weeks. I’d love for you to go with me. Have you ever been? Do you have a passport?”

  “No, I’ve never been to Austria. And I have a passport from taking my graduation cruise with Dad and Gretchen. I’d love to go!”

  “If you like, we could leave from Chicago and just ship your things here. That way, they’d all be here when you got home, if that’s okay?”

  “I would love that. A little mini-trip for us would be fantastic. Just the thought of getting away with you is refreshing. To spend time with you, just us and no drama, has got to be what the doctor ordered.”

  Grayson was quiet for a few minutes, then he looked at me with cautious eyes. “Alexandra, could you ever see yourself not working and being a stay-at-home mom?”

  “Huh. I guess I’ve never thought of it because I’ve never had a serious relationship. All I’ve let myself think about since before starting college was a career.”