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  “Trust me, if I could walk faster without landing on my face, I’d already be in the parking lot,” I assured him frostily.

  “…and I had hoped the evening would have a great outcome. The last thing I want to do is push you farther away.” His blue eyes bore into mine, filling me with a strange sensation that wasn’t quite forgiveness, but certainly wasn’t utter hatred. He took my hand and held it across the table, and I could feel all the butterflies I had once felt at his warmth. My skin burned with the most delicate energy, that same connection that had been with us from our first meeting.

  Dinner was wonderful and the music was fabulous, bathing the air with soulful sounds. Grayson eventually confessed to watching my therapy sessions, even going so far as to apologize for quietly intruding without my knowledge. He told me how much he had missed me and how he wanted so much to kiss me, how he wanted to make everything okay.

  “If there was even the tiniest, inconsequential way I could take all of it back and undo everything that has happened, I would. I wouldn’t waste even a second before trying to fix everything. I will remember until the day I die how broken you looked in the hospital that first night, and how weak and useless I felt, knowing I couldn’t do anything to make it better.” His voice choked back emotion as he spoke. He was so raw and full of angst I could tell his feelings for me were no longer purely words.

  My heart ached to see him in such an uncomfortable place.

  “Please tell me you forgive me, and you can even think about letting me be a part of your life again.”

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” a voice over the loudspeaker interrupted, “a sweet little song for a very special couple here this evening. Please join me out on the dance floor for our final song of the night. I hope you enjoy our version of Meshell Ndegeocello’s ‘Beautiful’.”

  When Grayson led me onto the floor, I knew the song was by special request. We had no choice but to dance again as couples around us applauded. Cooper was in so much trouble.

  The words so beautiful, so sensual, like having sex with your clothes on. I knew he had something to do with Creya being here, and it was no coincidence she performed all the specific songs she had this evening. It had been beautiful, magical even.

  Holding on to Grayson tightly, we danced carefully, but longingly to the music. I buried my head in his neck and breathed him in before finally giving in to my desire for him.

  I kissed him tenderly on the neck before biting his jaw playfully. I simply couldn’t fight back my passion for this man any longer, but more importantly, I didn’t want to.

  He reciprocated with a hot, luxurious kiss that invaded my mouth and melted my entire body. I felt every bit of willpower flow out of me, and I didn’t care we were on display in the middle of the empty dance floor. I could no longer say no to him. I could no longer deny what I felt for him, as hard as I tried. I had been lying to myself about my feelings for Grayson and all the fighting to forget was only exhausting me with misery.

  The song ended and Grayson led us over to the stage, so we could thank Creya, who kissed us both on the cheek and pulled us in for a close embrace. She was the one who thanked us for letting her be a part of a special celebration, forcing me to wonder how much she had been told when she was asked to perform tonight.

  After the valet got us settled in the car, Grayson reached over and took my hand. He leaned in and once again started to kiss me, but then suddenly pulled back.

  “You need your rest. Let’s get you home, so you can relax.” His eyes shined with such a glow, and his hands were almost burning hot. Was that passion seeping out of his body?

  “I want to go home, but I don’t want you to leave me. I’ve missed you so much, but I’ve just been too stubborn to admit it. All I know how to do is run, from my problems and from my feelings. I want you to stay with me. I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life. Please say you will stay.” The desire for him was burning through my body. I didn’t want the feelings to stop or the night to end.

  I had never felt so sexually charged before, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it, but I was absolutely sure about one thing—Grayson was the man I wanted to be with.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Grayson helped me into the apartment, never letting go of me, treating me as a fragile piece of glass. I pushed at his hands playfully, but even then, he wouldn’t release his hold on me.

  “I think I’ve proven I’m tough and I won’t break. You don’t have to baby me,” I said, trying to make him relax around me.

  “You’re still healing, and I’m just trying to make sure we’re careful. Would you like for me to pour you a glass of wine or put some music on?” he asked as he was already heading to the stereo to start some music.

  Slow, sultry jazz was always great for whatever ailed me, but it also enlightened the senses and my sexual senses were already on fire.

  “Yes, to both,” I said, then decided I wanted to get into something more comfortable. “I’m going to go change, I’ll be right back. Make yourself comfortable.”

  He put up his hand to stop me, but I didn’t let him. I just blew by him as fast as my determined gait would let me. I decided that the green silk gown and robe were successful for me in the past, so I wanted to use it again.

  When I returned, Grayson was on the phone, but he quickly ended his call and shoved the phone down in his pants pocket. He stared at me with such longing in his eyes, and I could tell he remembered the last time I wore this ensemble.

  “Grayson, I don’t want this night to end. I told you that. I’ve had a long time to think about this. I’m not sure what will happen, but I want to be here, and I want to be with you.”

  Before I could finish, he took me in his arms and kissed me with such wanting in his lips, with such desire. This beautiful, strong man devoured my lips. His mouth tasted so good, I couldn’t get enough of him. He leaned down, scooped me up, and carried me to the bedroom.

  “I know you can walk better now, but I’m just too impatient,” he said with a quiet, knowing smile.

  In the dim lamplight, I could see his neck pulsing, and I could feel the heat in his body. I knew he felt the same way I did. Neither of us intended for this night to end.

  “I want you so much. I can’t deny that. I have wanted you from the moment we met, but your recent health issues are something we need to talk about. Yes, I want to stay with you, more than you can possibly imagine. But I’m worried it would be risky if you had another panic attack—”

  I put my finger on his mouth and cut him off. “I’m not going to have a panic attack. I know without a doubt I want to experience making love. I want to explore this beautiful feeling that is flowing inside of me, and you’re the one I want to experience it with.”

  As we kissed with such passion, Grayson and I explored each other with hands and warm mouths. I felt desire and temptation evolve into something I had never experienced. As he removed my robe and I removed his shirt, I got to see his delectable chest, all the muscles tight, his intoxicating scent pouring over me as his hands moved over my heated skin. We were hungry for each other, both of us needing release from so much caged desire.

  Slowly, he removed my gown, laid me down and took in the sight of my naked body with a breathless expression. He stood to remove his jeans, but I put out a hand to stop him.

  The action seemed to take him by surprise, and he looked briefly as though he were being rejected. Quickly, I decided to remove his jeans and boxers myself, wanting to explore his body.

  I had never held a man in my hands such as this. The experience was taking my thoughts to beautiful places…sensually exquisite places where my desires were met.

  Grayson lowered himself onto the bed beside me, and started kissing my breasts, my stomach, and even lower, kissing all the little delicate parts of my body. He aroused me in ways I had never experienced and never thought were possible.

  Before I knew it, I was experiencing a mind-blowing climax, and all I could do was moan ou
t in pleasure. He glanced at me, and his face showed he was completely enthralled with giving me joy, like he was on a mission to make my first adult experience beyond compare.

  He kissed his way back to my lips, and I could feel the full length of him on my hip, causing me to shiver from the excitement of what was happening. I knew he needed me and wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

  I reached into my bedside table and took out a condom and pressed it into his hand. I had no experience with condoms, and we hadn’t discussed birth control. I had bought them in sweet anticipation of that last night we had spent together, hoping we would be making love sooner rather than later, and wanting to be prepared so nothing would stand in the way of our intimate moment.

  Grayson kept his lips on mine as he rolled on the condom then took his time entering my tight channel. Moving forward so slowly, only a little at a time, the feeling of him was so full and complete.

  His breathing was short, and I could feel the fast drumming of his heartbeat. I felt like my heart was racing out of my body. The moisture was so enticing between my legs and feeling the fullness of his erection inside me was completely exhilarating.

  He took his time thrusting in and out of me while stroking my breasts, kissing my lips, my neck, exploring me like he couldn’t taste enough of me. I could feel my body trembling, but it was from excitement not fear.

  Grayson seemed to feel it too and stilled, as if he were afraid he was hurting me. “Alex, just say the word, and I’ll stop. Please don’t let me hurt you,” he cautioned me urgently.

  “No, don’t stop. This is the most beautiful experience. I love you, Grayson.” I had never uttered those words to anyone, and they shocked me, slipping out uncontrollably.

  He paused at my words. “I only want this to be perfect for you. I want this to be the experience you remember, not anything else.” He began to maneuver with the most delicate touch inside my body. His kisses down my neck and chest teased me, tantalizing my nipples.

  Before I could control myself, my body responded to this beautiful moment. I began to quiver from the intense sensation that threatened to overwhelm me. An explosion from the most mind-blowing orgasm coursed through my body, curling my toes, causing me to ignite all over, leaving me breathless and unable to speak or move. With a few more thrusts, I felt Grayson reach his climax inside me with such a complete, pulsating sensation. I traced the planes of his body with one hand, while he still clasped my other hand with his.

  He relaxed, and neither of us moved for what seemed like hours. We both were completely satisfied and sated, relishing in contentment. He rolled us on our sides, facing each other while he was still inside me. He nestled his head into my neck, delivering tiny little butterfly kisses to my overheated skin.

  I could hear the sweet sounds of “Prowler” by Bohren & Der Club of Gore playing in the background. This music was the perfect back drop for tonight, so sensual and sexy to be the soundtrack for the most satisfying feeling of my life.

  Everything felt perfect at this moment. I had finally found a man who I respected for who he had become. I cared about him deeply for the way he held sacred the concept of human kindness. Most of all, I was overwhelmed by how he respected me and made me feel. I had no idea that meeting him would change me forever.

  As he withdrew from me, I winced, and he immediately showed concern.

  Quickly, I reassured him. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” he asked, puzzled.

  “Don’t ask me if I’m okay. I’m more than okay, and I’m happy to be here with you.”

  Grayson turned me over to cradle me closer to him. He was quiet as he lay on his side spooning me, my back to him, our bodies wrapped and entangled.

  His quietness concerned me. “Are you okay? You’re too quiet.”

  He repeated my words back to me. “I’m more than okay, and I am so, so happy to be here with you.” Then he kissed my ear, my hair, and snuggled into me. We laid there for a long time, listening to each other breathe. He stroked my arm up and down its shivering length with his fingers, while I held his other hand and tenderly kissed his fingertips.

  He was so quiet I began to worry. Was he happy he had been my first pleasurable experience? Had I disappointed him in some way? He hadn’t responded when I told him I loved him. I hadn’t meant to let that slip out, but could I have upset him in some way?

  So many questions raced in circles through me. I began to become uncomfortable and could feel anxiety slowly creep into my mind and my body. Before I could stop myself, I jumped from the bed and rushed to the bathroom.

  Grayson quickly sat up, but I didn’t say anything to him. I desperately wanted to take a shower to calm me and take my mind off my anxiety.

  Once the shower was warm, I stepped in and began to let the hot water wrap around me. I could smell the delicate fragrance of sex on my body, and the feeling of calm came back to me as I gave up my thoughts from before. A feeling of peace fell over me. After a few minutes in the shower, I was startled to see Grayson through the glass as his beautiful naked body walked toward the shower.

  “Alexandra, my love, are you okay?” There seemed to be such fear in his voice. I could tell he was experiencing his own anxiety.

  “Didn’t I warn you about asking if I’m okay?” I taunted in a fake growl. “Now, you’ll have to join me, so I can prove how okay I am.” I winked as I opened the shower door to him.

  He stepped in and grabbed me in a luxurious hold, passion taking over our bodies. We made love again in the shower as the warm water caressed us, creating a hot and steamy environment, the vapor swirling around us, as we clutched at each other feverishly.

  We made love like hungry animals this time, unafraid and unrestrained, kissing, biting, grabbing, and pulling. He lifted my legs one a time and wrapped them around his waist as he entered me, balancing me against the shower wall. His full length entered the deepest part of me, over and over again until we were both left weak.

  Then he held me in the shower, as we both gasped for breath, the water running over and between us.

  After drying off in luxurious towels, we climbed back into bed, snuggled against each other and fell into a peaceful place all our own. Although our sex was more than amazing, Grayson was still so quiet. I was dying to know what he was thinking, but I would leave my questions for another time.

  Too soon, the bright sunshine peeked through the drapes in my room. Not wanting to awaken Grayson, I laid very still, playing over every minute of the most romantic night of my life. I could no longer deny my feelings or my passion for him, the pull toward him was just too strong. How could anyone not love him? He was gorgeously handsome, physically fit in every way, sexy, strong, caring, and smart. What was not to love? There were the secrets he held onto, of course, but was that really so wrong? But there was something mysterious behind those sapphire blue eyes that I needed to know. More importantly, what was stopping him from sharing them with me?

  I had poured my heart out to him while we made love. I’d told him I loved him, and he hadn’t responded, not that I expected him to, because I absolutely didn’t want him to say it back to me just because I said it first.

  I hated it, but I had to get up. My bladder wouldn’t last any longer. I snuck out of bed with the least amount of movement as possible, trying not to disturb Grayson. Suddenly, he mumbled something I couldn’t understand, except for the word, no, the name…he said Olivia.

  “Olivia, don’t go,” he murmured again, his sleeping face creasing.

  That stung like a thousand scorpions stabbing me, stopping me dead in my tracks. Was he dreaming about Olivia, his ex-fiancée, the person who’d hurt him so badly, according to Zoe? He was thinking about her?

  I couldn’t stay here. I felt the anxiety hit me like a brick in the head. We’d just spent a beautiful night together, and he called out for her instead.

  I had to get out of there. Grabbing my running clothes and tennis shoes, I thought I would head out for a run. Okay
, so calling it running would be a big stretch, and it would be the first run without my trainer, but I knew I would be okay. I had to be. And we could speak about Olivia when I got back.

  Sneaking out of the apartment with Grayson still asleep, I let the early morning sun beat down on me and blind me for a moment, so bright and full of heat. It helped me work up a sweat and sort through my growing frustration.

  I was lost in my thoughts, upset that Grayson could be dreaming about Olivia after the night we had just spent together. I stopped paying attention to how far I had gone or where I was running to, letting the run just take me and carry my thoughts away with my quickening pace.

  Unfortunately, I soon realized I was lost, and I found myself winded from the weeks spent lying in a bed or lounging in a wheelchair. I had to walk, just to let my body catch up.

  I had left the apartment without my iPhone, so I couldn’t use GPS to find my way back, but after asking for directions at a coffee shop, I headed in the direction of the apartment. I got there to find Grayson pacing back and forth, partially dressed in jeans.

  “Where in the hell were you? You have been gone for over an hour, and you didn’t leave a note!” He was obviously beyond angry.

  “I woke up early and you were sleeping peacefully, so I decided to go for a run. I lost my way and ran farther than I’d planned. Don’t worry, it’s all good.” I didn’t want to get into the Olivia business right now.

  “When you leave me, you really need to leave a note, and for God’s sake, please take your phone. If you had taken your phone, you could have called or used GPS or answered when I called!” He was so angry and was punishing me like a child.

  I was in shock. Where was this anger coming from?

  “Grayson, first of all, I don’t answer to you, and second, I can and will take care of myself! I have no idea where your attitude is coming from, but it’s not welcome here.” I pushed past him and found my way to the bathroom to take a shower, locking the door behind me.

  I didn’t want him interrupting my escape, and I sure didn’t want to fight with him again. It seemed like our highs were total highs, and our lows were deep pit-sized lows, but the middle ground was missing. While the shower was refreshing and helped me put some distance between my problems and my reality, it didn’t really give me any answers. I put my towel-dried hair into a ponytail and took my time finding some jeans and a T-shirt to put on before making my way back to the kitchen where I had left Grayson in a fuming fit.